Ever notice that during these nitty gritty election years, the jabs between candidates can get pretty low?

Ever notice the strong correlation between jabs and fund raising? That whoever is negatively affected by the low blow launches a call to arms seeking money to defend their good name?

Where does it all go?

Barack Obama, in the month of August, raised $66 million. Sixty-six million dollars! To put that in perspective, the total operating budget for the City of Wasilla in fiscal year 2008 was $13.7 million, Lebron James’ (who donated $20,000 to Obama in July) 2008-2009 salary is $14.4 million, and the new Coen Brothers’ movie “Burn After Reading” had a production budget of $37 million.

That means in one month, Obama raised enough money to run the meth capital of Alaska for a year, keep the top NBA basketball player on the court this season, and have enough money leftover to make Brad Pitt sport a James Dean hairdo and act like a nerd.

Where does all that money go? Political consultants, campaign managers, advertising, and travel cost a lot, there’s no question about that, but Obama is entering September with $77 million cash in hand. His campaign manager, David Plouffe, reportedly earns $144,000 annually, or a mere $12,000 per month. A 30 second commercial aired nationally runs about $350,000, not including production costs. Political consultants can be had for $250,000 per month. All that together is a very small drop in the bucket when you have $77 million to spend. So really, where does all that money go?

Is she topless? The scandal!

I’m only using Obama as an example here because he made news with this record amount, but McCain is raking in the dough as well, collecting $47 million in August. If you’ve got an extra $50,000 to throw at the McCain campaign, you could get your photo taken with Sarah Palin later this month. Well worth it, I’m sure.

It’s an obscene amount of money, so much money that it overshadows everything else (except lipstick and pigs, apparently). It all goes somewhere, but exactly where is not something we need to know. I suppose the smart thing to do is to just chalk it up as the cost of politicking to be president of the United States of America these days, but the conspiracy theorist inside of me won’t let that happen. I can’t help but think some of the meaner volleys are part of a coordinated effort to raise money on both sides. With the state of politics as we know it, it’s all too easy to imagine a couple of candidates, or at least their campaign managers, discussing something like, “Hey, tomorrow I’m going to call you a liar, then next week you can say I flip-flopped. That should be worth a few million for both of us.”

Just something to think about. There is a lot of money floating around and it will be forever unaccounted for, at least to the public. The election will happen, winners will move into the spotlight, losers will fade into the background, and everyone will be just a little richer than when they started. Color me skeptical. (Though I can totally realign my thinking for a reasonable price. Wink, wink.)