Have fun with this photo. It comes courtesy of Al Grillo / The Associated Press.

Sarah Palin giving her resignation speech in Fairbanks on July 26th.

A few starters…

• I was this close to being a heartbeat away.
• I’m only a half crook!
• Whoever put this big fuzzy thing here is gonna pay!

Recently disseminated via e-mail to all State of Alaska employees, an “Invitation to Governor’s Picnics”:

Dear State Employee:

You are cordially invited to attend the 2009 Governor’s Annual Picnics. The picnics will feature free food, live entertainment, games and activities for children and much more.

Come and join Governor Sarah Palin, Lieutenant Governor Sean Parnell, their families and the Governor’s Cabinet.

There are three picnic locations:

Wasilla – Friday, July 24^th from 4:30 pm – 7:30 pm at the Iditapark (near Nelson and Lucille Streets)

Anchorage – Saturday, July 25^th from 12:00 – 3:00pm at the Delaney Park Strip West (W. 10^th Ave & L Street)

Fairbanks – Sunday, July 26^th from 12:00 – 3:00pm at Pioneer Park on Airport Way

Bring your family and enjoy the fun!

The Governor’s Picnics are funded by private donations and not at public expense.

Notice anything missing? Perhaps a Governor’s Picnic in Juneau, the capital of Alaska?

I guess this is Sarah Palin’s parting shot to Juneau and the rest of Southeast Alaska. Perhaps she’s a tiny bit afraid that the celebration of her departure down here in the “Rest of Alaska” would just be too joyous and thankful. I can’t imagine the signs like “FINALLY” or “Bristol went a full term, why can’t her mother?”

Alas, we won’t see these signs unless…

Anyone care to care to arrange a “Going Away Party” in Juneau?

In case you haven’t heard, Governor Balin, er, Palin, got all mavericky again and gave her 3 weeks’ notice on Friday, July 3rd. Yep, she’s resigning. You betcha.

There’s not much else to say other than: WTF?

When I heard a “surprise” press conference had been scheduled, the first thought through my head was, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if she was resigning?” Then common sense got the better of me and I started thinking of other more sensible things she could be announcing, like running for some national office in 2012.

But no. My first instinct was right. Common sense lost out on this one.

In case you missed the resignation speech, here’s a link to the full text transcription of it. There’s also video, of course:

Much speculation has been made as to former Gov. Palin’s motives, ranging from her simply freeing herself up to prepare for a 2012 presidential run to her being a little crazy.

I won’t add to the speculation. She’s resigning, that’s enough for me. I think Southeast Alaska can breathe a tiny bit easier now. However, there are two tiny pieces of her resignation speech that bothered me. First:

And we made common sense conservative choices to eliminate personal luxuries like the jet, the chef, the junkets… the entourage.

#1 – Selling the jet was pretty silly. It was originally purchased for around $2.5 million, then pilots were trained/hired, hangars were built, parts were ordered, adding at least another $500,000 – $1 million to the overall cost. Then it was stuck up on eBay where it did not sell, then it was eventually sold through a broker for $2.1 million, actually costing the state money.

#2 – Yes, there is no chef on the payroll. This is because Gov. Palin chose not to live in the Governor’s House paid for and provided by the state. Instead, Gov. Palin lived at her own home outside Wasilla, collecting per diem while doing so.  While not a complete offset, she did collect $60 every single day she stayed at home instead of in Juneau at the Governor’s House (300 days out of the first 19 months in office, meaning $18,000.).

#3 – Junkets and entourage? Please. There were plenty of junkets, particularly after the vice presidential bid, and if you don’t count your husband, five children, and one grandchild as an “entourage,” then sure, there was no entourage. I do give her props for flying in coach, though.

The second piece that kind of confused me was:

I’m not putting Alaska through that – I promised efficiencies and effectiveness! ? That’s not how I am wired. I am not wired to operate under the same old “politics as usual.” I promised that four years ago – and I meant it.

Four years ago was 2005 and Gov. Palin was still serving on the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission and had decided to not run for U.S. Senate because Track opposed it. In fact, four years ago to the day, she hadn’t even received her anointment from Thomas Muthee, the Kenyan Witch Hunter. I guess I’m being a stickler here, but saying “four years ago,” makes it sound as if she had served the full four-year term the people who elected her expected, which is definitely not the case.

Anyhow, speculate away on to future former Gov. Palin’s motivations. I’m sure they’ll become clear soon enough and will defy all logic!

If you’re like me, whenever a new restaurant or other food outlet pops up in town, you have to give it a shot in the hopes of adding a bit of variety to the otherwise monotonous Juneau food scene.

Last night around 8pm, it was suggested I go to Valentine’s and try a gyro. Knowing what I know about Valentine’s, I knew they were closed by that time and didn’t serve gyros. However, through some sort of arrangement, there is a nice lady takes over after-hours, Monday through Saturday, with all her gyro-making equipment and technique and makes some of the best gyros I’ve ever had.

For $7.00 you get your choice of tsatsiki, garlic, or jalapeño sauce, and a variety of toppings like onions, lettuce, and cabbage. Well worth it!

So if you find yourself downtown, hungry, and looking for something different, give it a shot!

Worth watching for some laughs: a dramatic reading of minutes taken at a Wasilla town meeting in 1996.

Also, check out the new Juneau Videos page!

“It seems to me the most important thing that can be done by the Senate is not argue with legal or illegal but to appoint somebody to represent Juneau.” – Wayne Anthony Ross

This coming from someone in a position to become the state’s next Attorney General?

I think this is what they call a “red flag.”

Our intrepid governor, Sarah Palin, has once again said, “Talk to the hand,” in response to the another name floated to fill Elton’s senate seat, Dennis Egan. Instead, she decided to ignore that and go all mavericky again and submit three names of her own to the Senate Democrats. And to add insult to – well, other insults – two of the three names, Tim Grussendorf and Joe Nelson, have ALREADY BEEN REJECTED.

The scorecard reads as follows:

Juneau Dems: Beth Kerttula
Sarah Palin: Tim Grussendorf
Juneau Dems: Kerttula, Jeff Bush, Sally Smith, Mike Miller
Sarah Palin: Joe Nelson
Juneau Dems: Dennis Egan
Sarah Palin: Grussendorf, Nelson, Alan Wilson

Obviously, the governor wants her way. Either 1) put in a quasi-Democrat or 2) drag it out so the capital city has no representation at all. Brilliant.

It’s this kind of political foolishness that’s embarrassing Alaska. Sure, the Juneau Democrats were trying to make a little point by only naming Kerttula and Palin got her zinger in by coming back with Grussendorf, but that’s where it should’ve ended. The Juneau Democrats did the right thing and named four possibilities – there was absolutely no reason for Palin to not have chosen from those four.

Ah well, that’s logic for you and we all know that can’t exist in Palin politics.

(New word! Palintics: n. the practice or profession of conducting political affairs in a ludicrous and/or childish manner.)

The District of Columbia has thrown out the sanctions on Ted Stevens’ law license in response to his conviction being overturned due to prosecutorial misconduct, meaning he can now practice law again in DC. This after Governor Sarah Palin asked newly elected Sen. Mark Begich to step down in light of Stevens’ charges being dropped.

Let me remind people: prosecutorial misconduct may throw the legality of a trial into question, but it doesn’t automatically mean the person being tried was innocent. Obviously, there were some shenanigans going on with Veco, Stevens, and his Girdwood chalet. We’ve all heard the recorded phone calls and Stevens’ utter disregard for authority. He got caught and has wriggled free on a technicality. Now it seems everyone wants to pretend like it never happened.

Does anyone remember the OJ Simpson criminal and civil trials? Simpson was found not guilty in the criminal trial, mostly due to mishandling of evidence and a crooked LAPD detective. With those factors out of the equation, Simpson was convicted of wrongful death in the civil trial.

As Yoda would say if he were a lawyer, “Prosecutorial no-nos does not innocence bring.”

Take a look at Celtic Diva’s blog entry about Palin supporters rummaging through the comments made on Anchorage Daily News, looking for and reporting comments as offensive whenever they are anti-Palin, effectively silencing any and all opposing views.

Her entry makes a good point – it’s ironic when those who complain about infringements on our freedom of speech are the first ones to abuse it by trying to stifle any opposing opinions.

Wonder if ADN will start to recognize these “abuse button” abusers and ban IP addresses? Or at least implement a system to allow other users to “rescue” non-abusive posts.

Pretty sad when things get this childish. We have middle school antics going on trying to make a senate seat appointment and it’s just filtering down…

Just wanted to reiterate that the Juneau Vampire was intended to let you, the readers, writers, and thinkers, have a place to share your thoughts on all things Juneau.

If you register to have the ability to comment on Juneau Empire articles, be aware that you can also submit articles to be published on the Juneau Vampire itself. When you sign in, look to the left of the screen and you’ll see “Posts” and “Add New.” When you are done with a post, save it and it will go into a queue to be moderated and published.